He and she sittin’
in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love,
Then comes troubles

She is crying like someone just stuck some onion-chili paste onto her crescent brown eyes.
Remembering she is, their lovely time together: their first trip to London, him cooking her breakfasts, them giggling and chatting the nights away, her waiting for him to come home...

Narrator:
"You’re broken hearted, broke as a joke, and kicking yourself for broken resolutions. Don't worry, help is on the way.
You see, you need your confidence to shine through this tough time. Don't forget, time is ticking. You are aging. You are super agitated like a worm on a hot pan. God forbid, you are also losing your faith in your body."

This is the perfect time to reinitiate a meaningful casual-encounter with yourself. Here are some bare necessities coming out straight from our 'hot' oven:
- Bad relationship equals curable cancer. Some say laughter is the best medicine, so why not laugh your pain away.
- "Let me eat your cake too!" Show Marie Antoinette how lean you are despites of all those cure-cakes. Try these firm custom French corsets fit to your precise measurements. Don't forget to push those two pears up to top sexiness.
- Present your bottom brilliant: clean, polish, smooth, buff, adorn.
- Switch the brilliantly depressing Susan Sontag with the first chapter of James Sanders' "Scenes from the City"
- Finally, ready to take off? Let Notting Hill-based photographer GVP shoots your sexy bod for yourself to admire. Hello hello... clean up those photos of you and your psycho ex and replace them with the beautiful born-again self images.

Narrator:
"Last but definitely not the least, my Dear, everybody has someone, that's for sure. Dolce has Gabanna, Thelma has Louise, Anna has Andre, you have.. well, your loyal sexy posse. Ditch the dead weight for a cool coy boytoy from Hawaii. After all, who needs a ton-weight trouble-maker dude humpin' on top of your perky little delicate titties."

COOL PRODUCT OF THE DAY

Red Hot Balloon Bag